Welcome to My Blog: Family Recovery Journey!
Updated: Jun 21, 2021
I’m Faith Antman Batt, a Family Recovery Specialist, Life Coach and Founder of Heartland Family Recovery, LLC. I’m also a person who has spent a lifetime living with and loving people who struggle with Substance Use Disorders (SUD aka/Addiction) and Mental Health Disorders.
· A wife
· A proud mother of three grown children
· And a woman of faith
27 years ago, after the devastation of infertility and treatments, I was blessed to become a mother. It was my greatest joy in life! Alongside that joy a whole new set of challenges emerged. I had had no real role models to teach me how to be a good wife, build a happy marriage, or how to be an effective parent. Thankfully, I had good instincts because I was winging it.
I had grown up in an affectionate but very dysfunctional family where:
· Mental Illness
· And Verbal Abuse were the norm
I lived in a hypervigilant survival mode for most of my life!
My loved ones joked and called me “The only normal person in the family.”
My symptoms were silent and went unnoticed.
After giving birth to my first child and trying singlehandedly to Baker Act and Marchman Act a family member at the same time, I finally became aware of my own limitations, my depleted state of being and my need for establishing boundaries. I was burnt-out.
That’s when I started listening to my own intuition and my own body.
I realized that it was not only my family who were suffering because of:
I was suffering too, with:
Looking back, from the solid ground on which I stand now, there’s no way I could have been unaffected. In fact, I believe it was sometimes worse for me! While my loved ones were partying, getting drunk and high, avoiding reality, I was facing it—vividly experiencing and then remembering everything horrible that happened!
My using relatives often either blacked-out or simply had no recollection of their behaviors, actions, or words. In some cases, their verbal abuse scarred me more deeply than the physical abuse. I was codependent and making myself sick.
When my loved ones went to treatment, I breathed a sigh of relief!
I thought everything would be okay once they got “fixed.”
I never expected them to relapse and wind up back in detox and rehab--one of them went 15 times! Nothing prepared me for that! Often during their sobriety, they still exhibited the same narcissistic, unpleasant behaviors and attitudes as when they were using.
Nature and Nurture
I had not been raised with any religious observance, but with my genetic predisposition and the toxic environment in which I grew up, I feared where I could be headed. This prompted me to seek spiritual guidance and practice prayer for the first time. It was comforting and enlightening, but it was NOT enough for someone as wounded and worried as me. Thankfully, my insightful rabbi also recommended a therapist and that therapist also recommended I attend Al-Anon peer support meetings.
The more proactive I was in my search for help, the more it seemed God made the right people appear. My life was changing in profound and meaningful ways, and I discovered that there were caring, selfless and supportive people in this world—something I never knew existed!
By Divine Providence, I met a new friend who was not only a spiritual woman of faith, but she also owned a health food store and taught Yoga!
I decided to make serious changes to my lifestyle and priorities with the intention that, “The buck stops here!” Life had taken its toll on me. I was worn out and had been unsuccessful at trying to change and control people, places, and things, but I realized what I could control and change was Me! I planned to turn it all around—I was not about to allow the chaos and pain I had endured to seep into my marriage, poison my children and ruin my entire life. This is what we call "The Power of One."
If you are an Adult Child Of An Alcoholic (ACOA), like me, or if you have experienced any of the things I’ve described, you understand like no one else can, how challenging life can be—to say it’s been an emotional rollercoaster is putting it mildly. Sadly, sometimes we are too ashamed to ask for help or seek support. We don't want to appear weak. On the contrary, it takes courage to change.
A few years back I began a new phase of this journey we call "LIFE." Despite all my efforts, self-help studies, and raising my children the way I believed in my heart was best...
I experienced a devastating blow!
I found out one of my teenage children was using drugs and alcohol and getting into serious, life-threatening trouble!
It was as if a ton of bricks had fallen on my chest! I literally could not breathe.
“How could this be happening right under my nose?” I thought I was an informed and involved parent! I was in shock when I received a call from the police at six in the morning asking my permission to give medical treatment to my child who I thought was sound asleep in the bedroom down the hall! WTF??
My kid had snuck out the window in the middle of the night, stole my car and went on a joy ride with a “friend.”
They got wasted. My teen fell asleep at the wheel and crashed head on into a tree!
The car was totaled, and the kids wound up in the emergency room, unconscious. Thank God they walked away with just a broken bone and some bruises.
I thought I had done everything possible to ensure that the crippling impact of SUD would not be passed down to and destroy another generation of my family.
I felt like a failure as a parent.
There were some dark days when I questioned whether I had the strength to go on.
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when a lifelong friend told me about the BALM (Be A Loving Mirror) approach to family recovery.
With my life experience, I thought I knew everything! It was all about getting help for the addict, yet, nearly everything I tried had only made matters worse! I didn’t know what I didn’t know…
Once I started utilizing the strategies and techniques I learned, I noticed small improvements (which to me seemed like miracles!) With time and consistent practice of these skills and tools I became peaceful and calm. The behavior I modeled in my home helped bring about significant changes in our family dynamic.
Eventually, we enjoyed living in harmony once again.
Loving affection and laughter returned...What a gift!
Wouldn’t you like to experience this path to peace and serenity too?
You can start by receiving my FREE
“5 Tips To Finding Peace With BALM,” email series. It’s my Gift to you. I’ll even include a FREE workbook for you!
I was committed to practicing the evidence-based strategies and reaped the benefits of being supported by my coach and a loving community. My family and I are living proof of the program’s effectiveness. That’s what inspired and motivated me to reinvent myself and become a Family Recovery Life Coach.
My passion is to share my experience, knowledge, and blessings by offering you these powerful family recovery programs:
· My team and I are also planning revitalizing Holistic Retreats
This is my calling. Until recently I was not ready to recognize and accept it. I was too overwhelmed with fighting and resenting the reality of this family disease and oftentimes feeling like a victim, expending all my time and energy enabling rather than helping; trying to solve everyone’s problems and save my loved ones from their self-destructive behaviors.
It seems adversity has been my greatest teacher.
I am grateful God gave me the strength to endure it.
In Judaism, there is a blessing we say on special occasions which feels appropriate for me. It’s called She-heche-yonu and it goes like this: Boruch ato adonoy, elohaynu melech ho-olom, she-heche-yonu v’ki-y’monu v’higi-onu li-z’man ha-ze. (Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion). Amen.
My work is dedicated to God (my Higher Power), my family, and yours. I thank all those who have helped me emerge from the darkness into the light, especially my dear friend Debbie Milam, author, and founder of GraceLoveWell.org; Beverly Buncher, CEO/Director of BALM Family Recovery Resources; my amazing coach Jen Fisher and a young man named Dale who I never even met.
Had it not been for the love and compassion of Jen’s family taking in Dale, a homeless heroin addict, Jen would not have been personally touched by this disease which is what moved her to become a Family Recovery Coach. I don’t know if I would be who I am today:
An empowered woman, living a meaningful life, had it not been for Jen.
There are no known cures for this baffling disease of addiction, therefore, no one can guarantee sobriety or recovery for our loved ones, BUT, where there is life, there is hope! By doing this work together, we are guaranteed our own emotional recovery, thereby, BECOMING OUR LOVED ONE'S BEST CHANCE!
Subscribe now to receive the FREE “5 Tips To Finding Peace,” email series and contact me to schedule your FREE 30 minute phone consultation.
My passion is to pay it forward. You don’t have to go it alone anymore...
I am throwing you a lifeline my friend.
I hope you grab it and join me on this worthwhile Family Recovery Journey.
Peace, Love & Blessings,
Faith Antman Batt, BS | BFRLC
Family Recovery Specialist & Life Coach
“With Faith You Can Overcome Anything You Undergo.”